Narcissists are the ones who are impossible to understand..
They act, manipulate, and influence you so much that you don’t even understand why they are actually doing it.
Whatever may be the case.. if you don’t want to hurt your narcissist or even if you want to take a serious revenge on your narc, first you need to deeply understand his/her mind.
So, what does a narcissist mind think all the time? Is there any way to hurt them? If so, what hurts narcissist most?
7 Things that hurt Narcissist the most: (Based on the Narcissist’s persona)
Never ever think that… what hurts a normal person also hurts a narcissistic person. It’s completely wrong. For example, a joke on you may not actually hurt you, but at times a simple joke on a narcissist may trigger his deep wounds making him/her so aggressive.
This is all because of the extreme self-centeredness of the narcissist. The narcissist always feels excessive grandiose for himself. They believe that they are the most important person’s and must be treated with extreme value by everyone.
So.. In order Hurt the narcissist, you need to carefully play on his emotions and wounds..
1. Being ignored:
The strongest thing that can hit a nail on a narcissist’s head is ignoring. Yes, ignoring a narcissist can hurt them so much, that you can’t even expect.
You may think that the narcissist too might ignore you back if you ignore them, but this doesn’t happen actually. The Narcissist loves to be at the center of attention every second. Either positive or even negative, he wants to be always under the spotlight, without which he can’t live.
Thus by ignoring the narcissist, you are completely killing his innermost lifeline. So he gets so hurt and can’t even say any word except to be silent. If you want to intentionally hurt your narcissist, All you need to do is act as if he/she is not present at all. Ignore the narcissist completely while being super friendly with everyone. Thus your extreme charm with others, while being completely silent with a narcissist, can make things clearer and strikes the narcissist directly.
2. Undermining his achievements:
One of the common traits of a narcissist is the feeling of excessive self-pride. Every narcissist tends to pick up a few things he/she has done, and continuously brag about them. This is what makes the narcissist feel special and great about themselves.
So, if you undermine his/her achievement, it directly strikes his foundation on which he feels the pride. Thus the narcissist gets completely confused and even start doubting his own talents and greatness. As the narcissist cannot live without feeling great about themselves, he/she gets totally collapsed. Moreover, the worst way of hurting is by especially focussing and undermining the talents that your narcissist regularly boasts about.. that too with perfect facts.
3. Being Replaced:
If you closely observe narcissists, you can find that almost every narcissist was replaced in their childhood in some or the other way. Thus most of the narcissists almost can’t bear being replaced as they remind them of their childhood wounds. They can’t imagine being replaced with some other new person in their place/position.
For example, if you regularly go on a walk with your narcissist, replace him with some other friend. If you regularly talk to your narcissist every day, replace him/her with some other acquaintance. Thus replacing so can deeply hurt narcissist creating him almost very deep wounds.
4. Remarking them as a cheap valueless person:
Whatever may be the reason, due to the feeling valuelessness in his/her childhood, the narcissist creates an artificial personality about himself. He/she literally creates an artificial world, where the narcissist themselves is the greatest person on earth. And every person the narcissist knows must respect and value him/her a lot because of their super qualities.
So, when you make a strong remark that a narcissist is a valueless person (or some kind of a cheap person), it directly hits the narcissist’s self-esteem. The narcissist’s self-esteem is very very sensitive, which is already wounded and artificially built upon using the imaginary greatness the narcissist feels. So anything that undermines or claims the narcissist as worthless can deeply hurt the narcissist and can make him so aggressive.
5. Your success:
Although many narcissists won’t agree, narcissist’s are highly jealous people. They literally can’t take the other person’s success, as they fear that the other person may exceed him/her one day. Although some narcissists may fake their happiness in other person’s success, jealousy is the real emotion that the narcissist exactly feels.
So, the more successful you get, the stronger you are hurting your narcissist. You need to remember that the success includes all streams of life like in both relations and career too. Once you cross past the narcissist’s achievements in career and relations, you literally are creating a world of hell for your narcissist.
6. Exposing his/her mistakes in front of others:
Tell me the reason why a normal narcissist boasts hundreds of times every day. This is because it is the great image the narcissist wants to project to everyone around him/her. Thus by using various techniques, manipulation, self-appraisal the narcissist creates a perfect image of him/her in the eyes of other people. So when you blast off this narcissist mask, it can literally expose him to everyone.
Thus by exposing the narcissist’s mistakes in front of others, the narcissist feels the loss of the perfect image he/she has been creating for many days. So this directly threatens the narcissist’s supply (he/she is getting from others) and also triggers their deepest fear i.e people giving less value to them.
7. Choosing the narcissist only as the last preference
As I told, Narcissists love being in the center of attraction. So, when a person gives the narcissist first priority, it can literally overwhelm the narcissist. And obviously, the opposite can deeply make the narcissist feel disturbed.
Whatever may be the situation, if you make your narcissist the last option, and if you use your narcissist only when you need him/her, it can drive your narcissist to go crazy.