Last Updated on December 25, 2020 by Team CrazyJackz
You may think that you are the only one facing this problem. No, you are not alone. There are thousands and thousands of partners (especially women) who are completely frustrated, lonely about their boyfriends who are excessive gamers.
“My boyfriend plays video games and ignores me all the time”
“my boyfriend plays video games instead of talking to me”
“He plays video games all day and has no time for me”
Do these statements sound similar to you? These are the words of thousands of women who are feeling lonely, ignored due to the way their boyfriends were prioritizing computer games over them.
Is my Boyfriend playing Video games too much or Am I just Needy?
You keep complaining that your boyfriend is ignoring you and playing video games all day. On the other hand, your boyfriend, claims that you are being too needy and just creating more drama.
Who is right?
To be honest, there is a fine line between playing video games and being obsessed with video games. Of course, playing video games for some time is not a bad thing nor does it disrupts your relationship.
The real problem arises when it starts affecting your relationship to the level that he is ignoring your needs and problems just to play video games.
So, if you are having a bad day and need some support, is he showing the care needed, or is he still continuing to play video games? When you are planning out, is he actually interested or just want to stay home playing video games? In simple, is he attentive to your feelings and needs or is he giving video games (and his needs) more priority than your emotions? If your answer is yes, then it’s time to classify this as a real problem.
Affirm yourself, no matter what he says and claims, the problem rests with him and he is the one who needs to change for the relationship to blossom. It’s not being needy, it’s the core of any relationship. Don’t put yourself into a condition where your needs and interests are no longer acknowledged.
So, how to deal with this problem? What to do if your boyfriend plays video games and ignores you? Let us see..
What to Do when your Boyfriend plays Video games and ignores You? 5 Ways You Can Deal with it effectively
Intelligently talk to him about it:
Communication is the key to any relationship. No matter how big the problem is, a simple talk can sometimes push your partner to make the necessary changes to solve the problem.
Remember communication is not about shouting or being angry at him. It is all about sharing your emotions and feelings without offending your partner. So, tell him how he is making you feel. Tell him the emotions you are going through. Let him understand that there is real turmoil going on in the relationship.
If he is a receptive boyfriend.. if he is really the one who is ready to invest in the relationship, then he will surely try to fix the things. Even if he is so much obsessed into playing video games, at least he will accept that something is wrong and needs to be changed to get your relationship to blossom again.
Understanding priorities and plan together:
Everyone has their own priorities. The way your boyfriend plays video games all day, clearly shows that he loves video games. You need to acknowledge that. On the other hand, your priority is being with a man who is attentive to you and your needs. This needs to be acknowledged by your boyfriend too.
Only when you understand your partner’s priorities and acknowledge them, will you both be able to remain happy in the relationship.
So, once you both understand each other’s priorities, sit and plan together so that both you and your partner’s priorities are met and satisfied. You together can clearly plan when to play video games and when to spend quality time together, in a day. Thus planning together and following it will make you and your boyfriend feel satisfied and complete.
Include yourself with him:
This is one of the most common things many people suggest when you come up with a boyfriend who has an excessive gaming issue. Of course, this has its own set of advantages and disadvantages too.
Firstly, if you include yourself with him and play together, you may no longer feel lonely and frustrated like before. As you both will be playing together, you and your boyfriend feel like you are spending and enjoying time together. Additionally, you both can simultaneously take breaks and get to talk to each other, during which he will be more attentive to you than before. This builds more rapport in your relationship.
On the downward side, he may continue to play video games, no matter what. In simple, you are adding more fuel to his already developed excess habit by adding more pleasure to it as a group activity. So, you may lose interest in video games after a few months, but it will still become a serious habit to him thus affecting your relationship further.
Think of your Boyfriend’s core problem and then act accordingly:
Sometimes, playing excessive video games is a cause of another underlying problem, he may be fighting. Video games obsession is just like any other obsession which can be at times, just a way to escape one’s real problems.
For example, people who have really bad anxiety use video games just as an escape from thoughts which helps them relieve stress. So, in such cases only when the person solves his bad anxiety will he/she be able to get over the video games habit.
So, talk to your partner about it, try to understand his real problems, and find how you can help them get rid of them. Try to look at their past, try to trace out from when he started playing video games more excessively, and finally help him leave video games slowly and gradually.
You may subconsciously warn him of the future:
Sometimes people understand the value of something only when they experience the fear of losing that. So, your boyfriend currently places video games above your relationship. Thus it is necessary to show him the actual reality of what could possibly happen if he continues to do so.
Of course, this requires some courage to do, however, such strong measures are somewhat needed if he is stubborn of even agreeing that there is a problem.
Subconsciously express to him that you are feeling very lonely and that you are not being happy in the relationship. Or give him the silent treatment and tell him that you too would ignore his needs and interests if he keeps continuing to ignore yours.
Thus such acts of warning him about the future, sends him a very strong message that he needs to fix some patterns in the relationship, for things to work out again.
Things you Need to Expect:
- Remember.. making him leave video games is not as simple as it may seem. Just like any other problem, playing excessive video games too is a common problem that is affecting many relationships nowadays. You and your partner need to together work hard to get rid of it completely.
- In many cases, your boyfriend may not even agree that he is playing video games excessively. He may even be thinking that you are the one who is actually needy and more of an attention-seeker, which is causing problems in the relationship. So prepare yourself for a number of blames and he may even make it seem like your fault. Thus no matter what, affirm yourself that the problem is with him and not you.
- You must prepare for a lone battle and just don’t listen to the people around you. You may look lame and needy if you explain your problem to the people around you. This is because our society still does not consider video game obsession as a serious problem, and thus may judge you quickly. You are the only one who would be understanding the reality and how hard it is to have a boyfriend who plays video games all day.
- After confronting and discussing the issue with your boyfriend, he may force you to give him some space. Whenever you bring up the topic, he may ignore you at times. Of course, giving him space is a good thing as it would give him time to sort out the things. However, at the same time make sure that he is not asking for space as an excuse to play more video games and just avoid your needs furthermore. Meanwhile, use this time to build yourself and your life.
What if he Doesn’t give up on Video games?
If he is an obsessed gamer already, there is always a chance that he may not give up his habit of playing video games. Now, if he is cooperative of changing for the good of you both, you can take the help of experts and solve the issue together.
On the other hand, if he is still not willing to change, blaming you constantly and ignoring your needs just to play video games all day, then it is always a wise decision to leave him and put an end to the relationship. A relationship should be for the good of both the partners. It shouldn’t be abuse to someone thus making them feel lonely and frustrated. So be patient but also bold throughout this tough journey.
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