What does It Mean When A Guy Ignores You After an Argument? (Psychology)

Would you agree that there’s something heartbreaking about being ignored by your man after an argument? Especially because you love him and want to work it out. You want to find a way to re-connect with him again and he is ignoring you.

Let’s say you’ve been dating a handsome hunk of a guy for several months and everything seems to be going great, but then a fight happens. You might’ve said some harsh words you didn’t really mean and now you regret the whole disagreement. So, you text him to check in and make sure everything is okay…. Crickets……he doesn’t respond to any texts or calls.

Now…you’re wondering what is going on, where your relationship is going, and what you did to cause him to ignore you. The frustration and fear are overwhelming and you’re about to lose your cool again.  

As you just want to end the fight and be acknowledged, why is he being a jerk and dodging your calls and texts? Why is he ignoring you intentionally? In fact, you now want to actually know what it means when a guy ignores you after an argument.

So, Let’s dig deeper…

What does it actually mean when a Guy ignores you right after an Argument – 7 Real Reasons

Guys are extremely interesting and immature creatures. They tend to avoid conflict like the plague. That is the precise reason why I want to share some eye-opening reasons and meanings behind why your man chooses to ignore you.

Reason 1: He wants you to crawl back to him and ask for his forgiveness. He is too proud and immature to talk about the conflict or to take responsibility for his part in the fight, so he simply pretends it never happened by avoiding you completely.

Reason 2: He wants to punish you and manipulate you into submission. This is psychological abuse. He knows the silent treatment is killing you right now. He has seen your calls and texts and wants to send you over the edge of insanity, so you come groveling and say he is right, and you are wrong, which is extreme power and control.

Reason 3: Lack of maturity – unfortunately, some men lack the maturity to have an open dialogue about conflicts in a relationship. Often, they don’t know what to say, so they don’t say anything and ignore the problem altogether and that results in ignoring you.

Reason 4: Lack of interest – Sad and extremely disappointing, I know, but there are times when a guy decides he is not into you and he doesn’t value the person you are.

Reason 5: Slowing the relationship down – when a relationship gets intense, a guy tends to put on the brakes due to fear of commitment or they are not ready for the relationship at this time in his life.

Reason 6: Sulking and overcoming frustration – He is hurt, and he feels like he can’t fix the problem, so he stays quiet to prevent more fighting. This is also another immature way they deal with relational problems.

Reason 7: He’s cheating or moved on to someone else – this one really hurts because you feel betrayed after sharing so much time with this man that you love. He did not give you any indication that he was moving on, which is another sign of immaturity and a complete cop out.

Often, these seven meanings and reasons can lead to an abusive, toxic and extremely unsatisfying relationship. Pursuing a guy that blatantly ignores you like this will cause you more heartache than he is worth. Trust me, you dodged a bullet. He is not worth your energy or time. You deserve better.

But for now.. Let’s put the reasons behind and have a deeper look into the argument that happened. Yes, why did the simple argument turned out to be an ugly fight and made him go silent…

3 Negative communication patterns that make any guy ignore you after the argument:

When a Guy Ignores You After an Argument

When you argue with your spouse or significant other, there are 3 types of negative communication patterns that can cause permanent damage to your relationship, if they aren’t discontinued immediately. They can also lead to the end of your relationship.

Men tend to avoid conflict because they really don’t want to argue with you and when conflict is mixed with the 3 negative communication patterns, I’m about to share with you, your man will ignore you every time.

So, let’s get to it…

1. Criticism –

This behavior attacks the character of your man. When you attack his character, his defenses automatically go up and he will build a wall you can’t break through if this behavior continues. He feels unsafe and experiences an extreme need to protect himself from you, so he will avoid and ignore you at all costs.

So, instead of criticizing and attacking his character, express your need and your feelings by using an “I” statement. For example, when there is a conflict, say something like this….. I feel (alone, sad, upset) when you…….

This way you are owning your feelings and accepting responsibility for communicating your need in a positive way and it doesn’t attack your loved one.

2. Contempt

Have you expressed yourself using sarcasm, cynicism, name calling, eye rolling, sneering, mockery, or hostile humor? If so, these attitudes need to stop immediately. A man’s greatest need is to feel respected.

When you attempt to resolve a conflict respectfully and leave these types of behaviors out of the interaction, he will respond to you supportively and positively. Also, showing appreciation for your man goes a long way. When you thank him for trying and affirm his best qualities…. trust me… he will be attentive and more than willing to listen and respond to your feelings and less likely to ignore you.

3. Blaming –

This behavior is equal to playing the victim and not taking responsibility for your part in the conflict. Playing the blame game with your man will not be effective. And it will result in you being ignored by him.

The more you blame, attack, nag, and criticize, the more defensive and shut down he will become. He will not want to break down his walls of defensiveness because he feels unsafe if you continue to use harsh communication. This becomes a vicious cycle in your relationship.  So, take responsibility for your part in conflicts and express your feelings respectfully. Like this…” I feel (hurt, alone, sad….etc) when you…..”

So, the solution is to calm down first and come back to the conversation when you can leave out the disrespectful language and harsh behavior altogether. Conflict resolution doesn’t have to turn into world war III, and it doesn’t have to be perpetually negative. Respectful communication makes a huge difference for a man.

How to stop this ignoring behavior and handle his silent treatment, without losing your self-respect?

  • Call him out – tell your guy how it makes you feel to be ignored. Tell him you don’t play games and you will not tolerate being mistreated by him. And if he is not willing to work things out with you, you will be moving on to more satisfying and healthy relationships.
  • Don’t over-communicate, beg for attention, stalk or overly pursue him, because it just proves low self-esteem and insecurity. This also prolongs your grief and pain from losing the relationship. It is difficult to realize your value, when you are chasing someone who didn’t value you enough to have a conversation about the conflict in the first place.
  • Learn how to value yourself and become the best woman you can be for you and you will start attracting guys who value and cherish you. What you project out to the universe is what you will attract. Teach men how you want to be treated by asserting and respecting yourself when situations feel toxic, abusive, and dangerous. If they don’t want to have the dialogue and resolve the conflict, that is your cue to leave the relationship.

Girl…. hold your head up, look people in the eyes, and remember how important, beautiful, and valuable you are. You deserve to be loved, cherished and treated well in your relationships.

Rhonda Stalb LMFT

Rhonda Stalb is a licensed family therapist (LMFT) and a relationship counselor who lives in Huntsville, Alabama. She completed her Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy from Amridge University and is currently a licensed clinician, owner at Beautifully Broken Therapy Services. She is also Board Certified by the Alabama Board of Examiners of Marriage and Family Therapy and has extensive experience of 10 years, as a therapist. Rhonda is always passionate about facilitating change for her clients and also loves helping them via her private practice.
Rhonda Stalb LMFT