Although some crushes turn out to be romantic relationships, most of them end up as a bag of unfulfilled emotions..
The boy in the chemistry class..
Or maybe The girl at the Dancing arena..
Whom are you imagining while reading this article? If I am not wrong, everyone has a crush on someone at some point in time, in their life.
Now, Are your feelings to be considered as just crush? or is it true love? After how many days of intense feelings do a crush actually turns into love? Psychologically, How long does a crush last?
The Feelings of Crush…
Before we begin sharing insight on how long a crush lasts. Let’s try to define a crush first.
In terms of psychology, a crush is nothing but an act of projection.. (aka an act of imagination)
You meet a person and conveniently assume that he/she shares your ideas and values. You, even without any visible evidence, believe them to be your perfect soulmate. In fact, you dream about them, think about them, and try to associate with them, just because of this faulty belief that you have construed by yourself. Added, the crush gradually worsens when you start attaching intense emotions with this ideal projection that you have created.
So simply, a crush is a cross between idealization and infatuation. And Yes, it signals the beginning of romantic love.
How Long does a crush Last, according to Psychology?
See, you may have already seen many websites which bombard you with some absolute non sense, which are no way practical. But I at crazyJackz only give you practical conclusions that are true to real life.
So, Coming to the main point.. How long does a crush last?
Recent research done on attraction psychology revealed that crushes last for a maximum of four months (in the conscious mind). While the feelings developed during crush may remain deeper (sub-conscious mind) and can last for as long as two years.
I told, crush is nothing but the idealization (believing them as the perfect partner) of a person, these feelings may not last long and tend to fade away. Thus, you are considered to be “in love” if your feelings show longer persistence.
It is believed that love is also a neurological condition, just like hunger and thirst, only more long-sustaining. Perhaps, it is a survival mechanism which encourages long-term relationships.
Now, if love is indeed long-term, one may think that four months is all it takes to fall in love. Contrary, sometimes we meet people for a very short duration but are unable to get their thoughts out of our mind.
Thus, it all dwells down to understanding the subtle difference between crush and Love..
Crush v/s Love:
Jack first saw Estella at the library. He saw her reading the book silently. That’s it, Jack immediately started feeling butterflies in his stomach. He felt like she was the one. Day after day, he silently observed her at the class, canteen, library, which paved way for the development of intense feelings inside him.
This is what we call the crush.. Now if jack started talking with Estella, he starts forming the bond between them. As days pass by, the bond develops into an intense emotional attachment, what we call as the love. Contrary, if Jack after spending time with Estella started losing interest, then the crush ends up without transforming to love. On the flip side, if he did not ever convey his feelings and remained distant, his feelings end up as an unfulfilled crush.
So, In simple..
Crush – Intense emotions attached to a person without much knowing them. (Just thinking them as perfect)
Love – Emotional attachment and bond developed when you started spending time with the person whom you are already attracted.
Wasted Crush – Intense emotions which got wasted when you came to know that the person is completely different compared to your imagined ideal partner
Unfulfilled crush – A block of emotions that are withheld, when you continue to believe he/she is the one, while you don’t step up to know the actual reality.
Remember, Love accepts your imperfections, but a crush thrives on the idealized image that you conjure of the object of your affection.
While crush and infatuation are more physically driven, but love transcends beyond mere sexual attraction.
Love is built on a foundation of mutual respect and support. When a person is in love, they do not shirk or avoid problems that come their way but instead work them out together. They care so deeply about this person that they are willing to give them company in hardships and fortune.
3 Intense Stages of falling in Love: (when crush turns in Love)
• The primary stage of falling in love is lust/infatuation. In other words, this is where you are when you have a crush. It equally affects men and women and encourages them to find a suitable mate.
• The second stage is characterized by attraction. When your crush strengthens into romantic love, you can be slotted as being in this stage.
• The final stage is where the individuals who are part of the affair begin to form an attachment with each other. It is crucial to the functioning of a long-term partnership.
Couples who are unable to transition to the attachment stage from the attraction stage face the risk of breaking up and are commonly found to be unstable in their daily machinations.
In reality, Who is more prone to develop crushes? Men or Women?
While crushes can occur at any age, they are more common in one’s adolescence. You tend to experience awkward symptoms such as sweaty palms, flushed cheeks and a racing heart, when you are in the presence of your crush. There is no need to beat yourself up about a crush as they are a healthy human experience and happen to almost everybody at some point in time.
Now, Coming to Men vs Women..
When men fall in love, they either fall in love right off the bat or not at all. Women, however, take their own time to fall for a person.
Men prioritize the physical appearance and vibe of a person whereas women assess if their potential partner is trustworthy and responsible.
Thus, We can conclude that men are more prone to crushes than women.
The next time you begin to feel mushy over a person, don’t fret about whether it is a crush or the real thing. Just go with the flow and enjoy the headrush that comes with being in an infatuation.
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