Your heart is racing..
Your hands are sweating..
And your mind is filled up with a variety of thoughts.. All, to just make a good impression in your partner’s mind.
Often, the early stages of dating are quite confusing and unpredictable. As you hardly know anything about your partner, you will not know how to talk to them or even how to text them. In fact, this uncertainty is the number 1 reason why many fail to transform their interesting dates into serious relationships..
Now, Don’t worry.. It’s time to know everything about how to text to a person when you hardly know them.. Yes, I mean in the initial stages of dating.
How to Text someone in the Early stages of dating:
The early stages of dating can pretty much make or break an association. Texting is today’s preferred mode of communication and how you text the person can greatly determine whether he/she will continue to express his/her interest in knowing you.
You can think of passing on your number to them and asking them to text as the hard part. Here’s where you are wrong. The first few texts could determine your entire romantic future.
After studying a lot of case studies and a lot of real stories, today we are sharing with you a few secrets you must always remember while approaching/texting someone, especially during the early stages of dating –
1. Don’t wait out – no. of days to contact them –
The very first text you send is always the most difficult. Pining about that cute girl/boy from dance class? Wondering how long you must wait out for it to be appropriate to text?
Love gurus everywhere will advise you to wait X number of days before trying to establish contact with her. One must objectively view this strategy as the absurdity that it is. Remember, it’s always a good idea to attempt communication sooner rather than later.
2. Don’t wait for them to message you first –
If you like them, you should let them know. If you wait too long to text, chances are that he/she might forget that they gave you their number at all. Worse, he/she could begin to think you’re really not that into them. So, Text them the same night/day to consolidate yourself in their memory. This also helps in keeping up the emotional momentum.
You don’t have to stress too much about rejection because they’ve already given you their number which hints at some level of mutual attraction. Also, follow phone call etiquette. While you keep up the emotional momentum, don’t think of texting them at odd hours – it will leave a bad impression/late replies.
3. Don’t simply text a greeting and leave it there –
A “hey/hi/hello” text is a bad idea. It requires zero effort and yields no results. The recipient feels your lack of effort and will most often misinterpret it as lack of interest.
A common piece of advice many psychology experts say is – don’t ever send a “hey” text. It is easy to ignore and does not even elicit any information exchange. Thus all in all a simple ‘hi’ text is always a bad idea. On the other hand, a good first text will always convey the kind of person you are and reference any previous interactions.
4. Pay attention to making plans in your early texts –
If you’ve figured out a way to contact your crush, proceed making plans to hang out with him/her. Pre-date texting may seem like a good idea, but it really isn’t. If you’ve shared way too much information about yourself already without meeting them first, you will be anxious to keep up the emotional chemistry and overthink your actions. It will keep you from being your own comfortable self and detrimentally affect your physical chemistry.
So, Don’t beat around the bush when making plans. Decide on a specific time and place to meet. Use texting as the prelude to a conversation, not the conversation itself.
5. Keep a calm head –
It is easy to stress yourself out when you base the texts you send on the replies you receive. A good idea is to send relatively few direct questions their way, so you don’t have to feel insecure regarding their responses.
You don’t want your early text messages to come off as an interview. If a guy/girl takes their time to respond, let them. Don’t be pushy. Simply compare a good text conversation to a tennis match. Make your service and wait for them to make theirs. A text per response works as a good rule of thumb. Wait out a day before sending another. If the conversation has run its course and you’re still not satisfied, you can perhaps exercise caution while reaching out without sounding over-eager.
6. Use proper English –
This may seem silly, but beleive me every small detail matters in the early stages, especially when you don’t know the other person. Sometimes just a single wrong word can become a turn-off and create a wrong impression on you. A survey conducted by Zoosk even proved that 48% of the singles consider bad English to be a great turn-off in dating. In fact, Using simply ‘alot’ rather than ‘a lot’ can also decrease the partner’s response rate by more than 12%(today.com).
And Yes, Grammar and spelling do make an impression. So you’re better off texting the person of your interest using proper diction, you will seem less lazy and unintelligent. Avoid using excessive internet lingo and abbreviations; it can be easily misunderstood if the person on the other end is not aware of them. Use clear language and punctuations to convey forth your meaning in the best way possible.
7. Be careful of your tone –
Tone is extremely difficult to gauge in textual exchanges. So you have to be careful with your jokes and leg-pulling, so they do not get offended in any way. Use their real name as often as you can, so they don’t think you’ve forgotten their name.
Use humor with emoticons to outline your meaning better. If you’re second guessing a text, don’t send it. Don’t send unsolicited selfies and only talk about things you would be comfortable talking about in person.
Listen, each person on earth is different. And accordingly, there are a lot of factors which determine whether your date will become your lovely dream partner or not.
In fact, a turn on to a person can be a complete turn off to another person. Thus you must always remember to change your texting/approaching styles according to your partner. On the other hand, always remember the above secrets and texting rules in your mind, and you will yourself experience the difference they make in your dating life.
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