With the growth of LGBTQ awareness, many people are openly expressing their sexual orientation at least with their families. However, some men are still stuck in constant fear from society and from the people around them. Thus they pretend to be straight and try to hide their complete sexual orientation for years together. As they tend to be more anxious and depressed (because of hiding their originality), one needs to support them and help them come out of the fear bubble they are battling.
So, how to know if a man is closeted? What are the clear signs a guy is pretending to be straight? How can you tell if a guy is faking to be straight? Let us see..
6 Clear Signs A Guy Is Pretending To Be Straight (Closeted Man Signs)
Do you know.. Guys who pretend to be straight, whom constantly try to hide their sexual orientations are known as closeted gay men. So how to know if a person is a secret closeted gay man? What are the clear-cut signs you need to look out for, if a guy is pretending to be straight..
1. Criticizing the Exact same thing they fear of getting exposed:
One of the most common things people do (to hide something) – is by criticizing the exact same thing they fear people would find out from them. The same applies to closeted gay men too. As said, they constantly fear that people would somehow find out their sexual orientation, one day. Thus as a defense mechanism, many such men criticize what they are hiding.
A Closeted man intentionally crack anti-gay jokes, make fun of gays, forcefully laugh together with boys who laugh at gays. Thus he averse himself from all gayish things and act as if he hate gays, just to strongly convince people that he is straight and ‘manly’.
In fact, a recent study by science daily has even concluded that such disparaging jokes are a way for some men to reaffirm their shaky sense of self, especially when they feel their masculinity is being threatened. Thus anti-gay jokes are one of the most most most common things closeted gays crack since they have an extreme fear of being caught as a gay.
2. Makes Fake Coverups about their current life:
So is he telling some ‘out of the box’ coverups like “I want to focus only on my career and studies” “I’m not ready to date” “I’m busy” “I haven’t met a right woman till now” etc (regarding relationships)? Then there could be a clear chance that he might be secretly pretending to be straight, while tactically covering up his love and gay sex life.
Although some straight men who say these do not necessarily mean they are gay, however many closeted gay men tend to make hundreds of such fake coverups when someone questions them regarding their current love/sex life. Common coverups include showing up as if they are nerds or a person who has been waiting for the ‘one’. Some closeted gays even try to immerse themselves in sports-related activities (with men around) and show it as an excuse for not having a girlfriend.
3. The Awkwardness is visible:
We know gays are sexually attracted to men. However, there are many gay men who are still striving to openly tell their sexual preference. Thus with a constant fear of covering up their sexual orientation, they are continuously under pressure that someone exposes or finds out that they are gay.
So, when someone is under such intense pressure, even the slightest of things can trigger the deepest worries. The same happens with closeted gay men too. So if a guy is stiffening up and acting awkwardly when another man touches him in the presence of others, then there is a huge chance that he is pretending to be straight.
Putting arms around, giving friendly punches, sometimes even hugs are common among straight male friends. However, when the same things are done with a person who is a closeted gay, he may instantly be worried (and may feel uncomfortable), as he feels that one of his secret identity is being revealed.
4. Over sexualizing Women and discussing unusually more sexist and sex topics:
Although this is not very much commonly seen, however, some extremely closeted men do some drastic things to cover up their secrets. One of such drastic things is over sexualizing women that even some extreme straight men would find disturbing.
Some also tend to have the habit of excessively talking and discussing men-women sexual topics just as an extreme way of showing people that he is a straight man. Thus doing so they think that no one would ever doubt their sexuality and that he is gay.
Of course, we may not think that a particular person is gay if he himself talks about women and heterosexual topics .. Maybe that’s what your guy could be thinking too…
5. Occasionally dating girls and Telling excessive stories about it:
Yes, you heard it right, some closeted gay men can sometimes even occasionally date girls (without having any intention to make love) just to show the world that they are straight. Of course, the date may never go into a serious relationship with sex, however, it is enough for him to use it as armor for hiding his actual sexual orientation.
So, is a guy excessively telling you stories about the dates he went on, even though if it didn’t turn into a relationship, then chances are that he could be using it as a shield and pretending to be straight.
6. Stressing out when hot guys are around:
Here is a story we got from a closeted gay in one of the forums –
“So I was surrounded by hot guys. It was the most I’ve ever had to pretend to be straight. My instincts told me there were a lot of great guys around – there were – just I had to fight the urge to check them out because then his friend might have found out I’m not straight. There was one guy, around my age, in the hot tub by himself who I think saw me checking him out and smiled… let’s just say the whole experience while having to “act straight” was awkward.“
As you could hear from his story as to how he stresses himself out when hot guys are around him. Yes, when a guy is pretending to be straight, he doesn’t want to leave any clue that he is gay. Thus having more guys around can make him more anxious and he thinks too much to even look at them properly. Thus these feelings stress him too much and make him behave in an awkward manner.
So, next time if a guy is stressing too much when other guys are around, it is a sign that he is pretending to be straight.
Some other signs like being super secretive about his browsing history, too much hiding of his personal matters, looking at men’s pictures with more interest (when compared to women), etc all show that he is a closeted guy who might be pretending to be straight
Don’t Push Him..
Although many gay men are coming out and openly expressing their sexual orientation, however, it is still seen as an unusual thing in many cultures and families. Thus it is genuinely sad, that many closeted gay men are still under the shadow pretending to be straight.
So, we must take at most care not to push them to reveal their sexual orientation. When they feel comfortable with you and trust you completely, they themselves open up to you. Thus acknowledge their fears, worries and let them open up for themselves. Until then it is not a humane thing to push a person to reveal personal things, which he wishes to hide.
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