Last Updated on March 22, 2021 by Team CrazyJackz
When a man pulls away all of a sudden, it is one of the most heartbreaking situations any woman can go through.
When he pulls away, you feel confused, disheartened & also very frustrated. Thus you keep on chasing him and try to get him back as soon as possible. However, many women clearly share their stories saying that, chasing their man did not have any positive results in their relationships. Some women even share their true stories of how some men pull away, even more, when they are chased.
So, what’s the solution to this big puzzle? When he pulls away should you do the same? “When he pulls away.. Do nothing” is this the right strategy to make your man come back to you? What should you actually do when your man pulls away?
Let us see..
When he pulls away.. Do nothing? Shouldn’t you chase him back?
Your man who used to give you his full attention and love, when suddenly goes silent, it obviously irks you deep. You start worrying that he may leave you forever. Thus, you’ll feel like you need to do something to get him back immediately.
You keep calling him, texting him, and continuously asking him the reason for his actions… That’s it, a bigger argument starts off, making him go even more distant. Does this sound similar?
To be honest, this is the same story that happens when women kept chasing their man who pulled away suddenly.
Wait!.. What if you “DO Nothing”?
Yes, you heard it right.. “Doing Nothing”
To be honest, in some situations doing NOTHING is more powerful than anything you can do. When he pulls away, of course, you’ll miss him, but just chasing him makes your situation even more of a mess. Instead, simply pause yourself. Just don’t do anything. Stop wondering what you must do to make him talk back to you. Once you stop chasing him, he’ll come crawling back to you within no time.
Although “doing Nothing” may sound simple, you need to handle your emotions and thoughts. You will be pushed by your mind to solve the issue and to feel validated again, however, you need to hold on to yourself for some time. Pausing yourself when he pulls away maybe quite unsettling and your mind may constantly seek for a clear conclusion of the problem. Thus you also need to pause your mind along with your actions too.
6 Reasons why “Doing nothing” works when he Pulls away:
1. Men fall in love during your absence:
There goes a common saying “Women fall in love in a man’s presence. Men realize they are in love in a woman’s absence”. Yes, this is absolutely true. Even, many relationship gurus suggest that you need to let a man miss you in order to make him come back to you.
So when you are “Doing nothing” you are indirectly going on a partial no-contact, thus making him feel your absence. Once he understands this and starts to feel your absence, he will slowly start missing you. He misses your love, care, affection, and your presence too. So, next time when he pulls away, just do the same.
2. It gives him space to assess and think:
If your man pulls away, he is probably already overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions. Hundreds of thoughts may be running in his mind regarding you and your relationship. So, when he wants space.. just give him space. By going silent, you are giving him the necessary space he needed.
Thus when you give him space, he gets the time to think, assess and decide about the things that are pondering his mind. Once he solves the problems, thoughts, and emotions overwhelming him, he might soon come back to you. So, the more space you give him, the quicker will he be able to assess his thoughts and thus come back to you soon.
3. It doesn’t trigger any argument due to your emotional outburst:
We tend to speak words out of our minds when we are emotional. So, never ever respond to your partner when you are emotionally unstable. It not only creates an argument but also hurts your partner emotionally.
So, “by doing nothing” you are completely preventing this emotional outburst from happening, thus preventing further damage to your relationship. So, you can now take some time, take a deep breath, gather your thoughts, let your emotions settle down, and then take a wise decision for you and your relationship.
4. It doesn’t make you look clingy/needy:
Of course, who likes a needy person. No one values nor loves a clingy person. So, chasing your man right away when he pulls away, may make you look clingy and needy.
This is, even more, a big turn-off if you and your man are still in the dating stage. So, be a strong woman who has high self-respect. That will increase your self-love and that’s what is loved by others too.
5. It triggers fear of losing you forever:
Fear of loss is one of the strongest emotions that can push a man to go to any extent. When a man pulls away, he might be in a belief that you would be still there for him, no matter what, and that he can come back to you whenever he wants. However, when you stop responding and when you are doing nothing, this can quickly trigger some of his deep fears.
He will start to wonder what you are actually doing. At the same time thoughts of losing you forever start accumulating in his mind. Thus this fear pushes him to go to any extent and will quickly make him come back to you.
6. It irks his ego and seeks for immediate validation
As told before, when your man pulls away, he may be expecting that you would talk to him, chase him and wait for him. Contrary, if you go silent, this strongly irks his ego. He may wonder that if you have lost interest in him in the first place. This big ego may affect his thoughts and he starts to overthink the situation.
As a result, he seeks your validation in order to soothe his burning ego, making him quickly come back to you no matter what the situation is. So, the bigger your man’s ego is, the faster will he come back to you in this scenario.
No matter what is your case.. What’s yours?
You need to remember one thing here. If you are reading this article you might probably in one of the two scenarios..
- You and your man are in a serious relationship. After days of happily spending time together, your boyfriend is slowly pulling away and showing less interest in you.
- You have been dating a man, who after showing some initial interest, is gradually pulling away from talking to you.
To be honest, no matter which of the above scenarios you are currently in, “Doing nothing” can have a huge impact on your man. It will surely have a positive outcome making your man come back to you crawling. However, you need to consider a few things when you are going silent. So let us see what you should actually do when he pulls away.
What to do when he pulls away?
First things first.. When your man pulls away, the power of control shifts to your man’s hands. You feel emotional, sad, angry, and confused thus giving complete control of your emotions to your man.
So, “Doing nothing” indirectly puts back you in the driver’s seat. Your emotions will no longer be controlled by him, while you can wisely build back the relationship. So here’s what to do..
When a man pulls away, it can be only be because of one of the following reasons. So try to understand which is your case and thus act accordingly..
1. He’s afraid of losing his freedom:
This is one of the common reasons why many men pull away, especially when your relationship is getting serious. As told before, if he needs space, it’s better to give him the space he wants. While giving the space you need to make him know that you may be lost, if he keeps on pulling away from you.
2. The thrill is gone:
As two people keep on spending time together, the initial passion between them slowly starts fading away, and thus he feels less interested in talking to you. If the thrill is gone, it’s time you understand each other more while also it is necessary to make him realize your value.
3. He’s angry/sad with you:
Some people, simply pull away from people when they are angry or hurt by their actions. This is their way of expression. So if you believe that your man was hurt by one of your actions, it is better you communicate with him openly, and let him open up.
Don’t judge him, and simply listen to what he says. Try to understand his point of view and you & your man together try to solve the things that caused a rift between you.
4. When he feels that his feelings are being wasted:
This can be the case if you and your man are still in the dating stage. If your man by one of your actions felt that you don’t love him enough, then he may quickly pull away as a part of a defense mechanism. He may feel that his feelings are being wasted, and thus calmly stop showing affection like before.
From a different point of view, all he needs is some validation from you and he wants to see some evidence that you love him. Since he wants to feel loved, just openly express your thoughts. However, don’t go too far as it may again turn into a bad chase, making him pull away further.