Last Updated on August 1, 2021 by Team CrazyJackz
Love is a very tricky concept. Over the span of your life, you can go wrong with some and misunderstand a lot of such relationships. Platonic feelings and feelings of kinship towards a friend can also be mistaken for romantic ones. The tv shows, movies, books and songs about love have somehow created a very stereotypical point of view of love, especially for women. In general, women tend to be more open about their emotions and recognize their own feelings more easily and on a deeper level than men. These aforementioned stereotypical standards of love have created an image of a particular way of men treating women. So, when you find a man who treats you the way you have always wanted to be treated, because of these stereotypes set in your mind, you may start assuming that you are in love with them and so are they. And maybe you are, but it is extremely important to know and understand the kind of person he is.
Marrying someone is the biggest commitment that is made to another person. And when it comes to something like marriage, you know that a lot more things and people are also involved in it. Marriage outlines the two people’s rights and duties, as well as their rights and obligations to their children and in-laws. Dating someone who is already married to someone else, chalks up to an extramarital affair, which institutionally is taboo. So, when you are in a relationship with a married man, you are bound to go through some commitment issues from the other side. But if a man is really and genuinely in love with you, he tends to show you all the affection in the world and will also shower you with attention and love. He will show you off to his friends and family.
But oftentimes, extramarital affairs are a distraction and just an escape from the routine and the same person. This eventually turns toxic and mostly will affect the mental and emotional aspects of your life. For the man, he is getting attention and affection from two different women. He is doing well and happy. But you are here going through the distress of having to share the man that you love. You know that what you are doing or what is happening is conscionably wrong and you shouldn’t be doing it. But even if you want to end it, it can be difficult because you are in love with him and he avows to be in love with you as well. Most of the times, for women, when she is in love, it is lasting and will take over her whole being. Not receiving the same affection and love reciprocated from her significant other, is the most difficult part of it all. When a man loves and appreciates you, he will go out of his way to make you happy and he will make sure that you are emotionally, mentally, and physically satisfied. That is what a healthy relationship is. But if that is not happening, it is going to take a toll on you psychologically and eventually, physically as well. You have to be vigilant and make sure – for your own sake – that he is not just using you. He will do certain things that are clear indications of him not being as invested in the relationship as you are. It then becomes your responsibility to tread lightly and if the time comes, confront him about his behaviour.
16 Clear Signs a Married Man is Using You:
What are the signs a married man is using you? Don’t worry, If you want to know and substantiate that the married man you are dating is just using you, here are some clear and absolute signs:
- He will always avoid having serious conversations about your relationship:
A married man will never talk about being serious or your relationship’s future. Generally, a man will have an affair when there are problems in his marriage.
So, an affair, for him, is an escape from the issues he has with his wife. But since he already has a commitment like a marriage in his life, he will never talk to you about your future with him or his future with you.
- He will want you to exclusively be with him. Little can be said if he’ll do the same:
He wants to be exclusively related to you. He isn’t going to leave his wife, but he won’t allow anybody else to see you. He’ll be all right with his own unfaithfulness, but he won’t allow any other man to walk in. He can cheat with you, but he won’t be all right with you cheating with someone else.
- He won’t be a present man in your life:
According to what was mentioned above, getting complete attention from a married man, in a toxic relationship, is hard. In a normal and healthy relationship, you can demand attention and the company of your significant other at any time.
But when you are dating someone who is already committed in a marriage with someone else, their constant companionship is very difficult to have. Especially, if he is hiding his relationship with you, from his wife.
- He will often not answer your calls:
He won’t allow you to call him anytime. When he is with his wife and/or family, he will not talk to you or won’t even allow you to call him. Having a family depend on him, will give him an excuse to give his family time and attention.
- None of his gifts to you will be personal:
When a married man is using you and your relationship with him, your happiness is rarely his priority. Even when he does do something for you, like getting you a present, they will seldom be something personal and thoughtful. He would rather gift you something like a piece of jewellery. Even then, the gifts might not be thought-out ones.
- His wife and his married life will always be more important to him:
One of the biggest signs of a toxic and unhealthy relationship, is when your significant other doesn’t give you importance in his life. Other things and people are always more important.
Especially when it comes to a married man, his wife, his work and his married life will always be more important to him. He won’t make you feel like an important part of his life.
- You can’t rely on him:
A big part of a healthy relationship is being able to rely on your significant other. You need to be certain that in your hours of need, he will be there for you. But in a relationship with a married man, you cannot depend on him to be there for you, when you need him to.
- Signs of more and more cheating:
When a man is cheating on his wife with you, there is a big chance that he is also cheating on you with other women. Thus if a married man is using you, you could clearly sense more and more signs of other women in his daily life, besides you and his wife. Clear signs of cheating in your relationship could be felt by you everyday. In that case, you cannot confront him about it, because then he can always use the wife card and shake off the blame.
But like we established before, he will not be okay with you doing the same. So, you have to act indifferent about it and let it go. This is the most toxic sign in the relationship and that he is clearly using you.
- He will not be the same with you in public as behind closed doors:
He will not take you out to public places with him, as his girlfriend. Especially, to places where someone he knows might see you two together. He won’t let his image as a married man be hindered by being seen with a woman that is not his wife.
He will not introduce his friends or anyone else to you. If you try to surprise him at his workplace or show any affection to him in public, he will either not acknowledge you or will get angry with you later.
- You can’t trust him as Lies are all over:
The basic foundation of every relationship is trust. It is the most crucial part of a relationship. If you can’t trust your significant other, the relationship is left with no meaning.
And a man who can lie to every person in his life while he cheats on his wife with you, who is to say that he won’t lie to you too? When lying is so easy for a person, there is no telling that they tell the truth to anyone at all.
- If you catch his lie, he will lie his way through it
If you find him lying about something, he will always have a lot of reasons and excuses. A man who is capable of cheating, generally has an inflated ego.
A lot of times, when a person is not able to accept their mistake, they blame a lot of other things for their mistake. And a married man who is having an affair can manipulate the lie and bring it on, he is used to manipulating people anyway.
- He doesn’t know the real you:
Like we established before, a relationship with a man who is just using you is very toxic. When there is a lot of love and care between two people, the relationship always turns out healthy, because above everything else, all you wish them is happiness. Your significant other has to know the real you and has to make an effort to get to know the real you.
However, when a married man is just using you, it really feels like he doesn’t know the real you. Since he doesn’t know the real you, your emotional feelings and expectations will never be understood by him.
- He won’t be able to anticipate your needs:
You can look at any other relationship in your life. Look at your relationship with your sister, or your mother, or your best friend. You know everything about them, so you know what they need when something happens. How many times have you been ready with a bowl of ice cream at your sister’s or your best friend’s doorstep?
Now look at your relationship with the married man that you are dating. If he just has the intention of using you, he won’t be able to anticipate your needs. He is not going to know that you love tea over coffee, that you need a lot more sugar in your tea than normal, or that you can’t start your day without a cup of tea with whole milk. He doesn’t know that you need a bowl of mint chocolate – your favourite – ice cream, after a fight with your best friend or after a really hard day of work.
- He won’t actively be a part of your life:
If a man doesn’t see a future with you, he won’t care enough to be a part of your life. He won’t be there for you if or when you have an emergency, he won’t be helpful in times of emergencies.
- Your child with the man, will not be of precedence to him:
If you decide to have a child, in the case that you do get pregnant, he will elude the responsibility of the child. You will be left with taking care of the baby and raising it all by yourself. The life of a single parent is hard.
- Being with him is affecting your overall life:
When you are going through a really toxic relationship, it inevitably shows. You might cry through sleepless nights and a confused mind. It starts affecting your sleep, your ability to not overthink, and your overall life. Taking care of you is a priority to your significant other in a healthy relationship. But a married man, who is just using you, will not realise the repercussions of his mistakes, that you have to pay.
A relationship with a married can be one of the most toxic kind of relationships that you may encounter. You need to understand that even if you are in love with someone, your peace and your mental harmony has to be your priority.
You need to look out for these signs, in order to save yourself the hurt and the stress of a relationship this toxic. Your significant other, should be your escape from all the other stressful things in your life. You can’t have a relationship adding on to your stress that you already have to endure. If you are in such a relationship, get out of it now and take your first step towards a good and happy life. Because you deserve better.
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