Last Updated on May 24, 2022 by Team CrazyJackz
“The feeling is Mutual”
When a guy says this statement, you might find it quite hard to determine what exactly it means. This statement could hold different meanings in different situations. Context, their intentions, etc, all play a very important role in this statement.
Men are complex creatures. Often women are portrayed as hard to understand, moody, and whatnot. If I am being honest, men are definitely no less complex. They don’t always say what they mean and mean what they say. They guard their feelings, they guard themselves. You may now wonder how guarding their feelings relate to them saying “the feeling is mutual”. I will let you know the answer to this question soon.
So, what does it mean when a guy says the feeling is mutual? How do you respond to ‘The feeling is mutual’ statement from a guy? Through this article, I will help you solve the mystery of this statement and how to deal with it.
When a Guy says the feeling is Mutual – What does it mean & How do you respond?
If you ask me what a guy means when he says “the feeling is mutual”, To be frank, this totally depends on the setting of where you are, the mood, and the statement he replied so to.
When you are dating someone, it is inevitable that someone is going to confess their love first. Often we have observed that men tell their ladies that they love them. The simple 3 word sentence “I LOVE YOU” holds a lot of expectations, from the person who confessed. Thus the reply after the “I LOVE YOU” plays a major role in defining the trajectory of the said relationship.
So if you told your man, that you love him, and he replied with “The feeling is mutual” here are some things that might be going through his mind.
You have just popped the “L” word AND He loves you back:
Yes! This is indeed a possibility! So remember what I said about men being complex characters? Let me elaborate on that a little. So Men are often not used to getting to hear the “L” word first in relationships without being the one to say it first. This roots from patriarchy and, most men simply don’t expect to hear you say it. Thus they might be a little shocked or even bamboozled.
Now that YOU have said it, your man is probably still comprehending your words and is a little emotional & very happy. So how does he express his happiness? How does he express how emotional he is? By telling you that the feeling is mutual.
This is the perfect reply according to him as it doesn’t sound desperate, or cheesy and he is re-affirming you that he loves you. Make sure to look at his face if he looks pleased or smiles a little when he says so. Thus if he looks happy, then he probably is exploding with joy over you telling him that you love him. He is just trying to not show his emotions too much.
This could be a sign of past rejections or failures in relationships. He might not think that he is worth loving, because of what he had to go through in his past relationships, or something his past girlfriend said to him. Which might have led him to guard his feelings in order to protect himself.
How to reply to this?
Now you may not be sure what to say in this situation. However, to be frank, you don’t even need to say anything in this situation. Just smile and let him be.
If you feel like he was being honest when he said that the feeling is mutual, then don’t question his feelings any further. It may take him a long time to open up to you, but with patience and honesty, he will eventually be able to tell you how much he loves you.
You have just popped the “L” word BUT He doesn’t love you back still:
There is a possibility of him not loving you yet in this relationship. Thus he may have said that the feeling is mutual because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, or he believes that the relationship will come to an end if tells you that he doesn’t love you.
In a relationship sometimes, you may start loving someone earlier than them. This is very normal in relationships, as some people develop feelings faster, and some people reach that state of love earlier than their partner. Attraction happens differently for different people. Thus you both may not be on the same page in the relationship.
He may not be the kind of person to fall in love so fast. He might have trust issues and may take his sweet time falling in love with you. In such a case the guy may simply reply with “the feeling is mutual” statement when you propose to him.
Another reason could be that he isn’t much attracted to you yet. Which doesn’t say anything about you or your attractiveness, but it’s about him. He may not be over his ex and at the same time may not be sure to let you go. Often men and even women try to latch on to the person who is there for them. You might right now seem like someone who is not going to leave them and thus they don’t want to scare you away with their feelings. The person may also have you as a rebound, to help him get over his ex.
Try studying his body language and expressions when he says “the feeling is mutual”. If you think he seems uncomfortable, the feelings may not be truly mutual.
How to react to such a situation?
You both need to talk. Confrontation seems like the only option for this. Not only will a clean confrontation, help you realize each other’s feelings, but it will also clear things up, ridding you of overthinking.
This confrontation can lead you to realize exactly how and what he feels for you and thus make it easier for you to decide the future of the relationship. Staying in a relationship with misunderstandings will only lead to future heartbreak.
A Man might also reply with “The feeling is mutual” during an argument:
This is another common context and scenario when a guy makes the “The feeling is mutual” statement.
Arguments are inevitable in relationships. A couple might not always have the same views when it comes to everything, and might have some heated arguments due to misunderstandings, jealousy, and difference in opinions.
During an argument, he may say “the feeling is mutual” when you have hurt him. Let’s say you guys are having a heated argument and you say something about the man’s personality and something between the lines of “let’s break up, I don’t think we can make it work any further”.
Your man may get really hurt over this. He might be hurt because, he did not think that the argument you both were having was that serious, or given it that much importance in his mind. He may be absolutely shocked when you say that you might need a break from him. He may start thinking that you hate him and he may say that the feeling is mutual simply out of spite. It may just be something to hurt you, because you hurt him. This may also be his way of trying to push you away as you have hurt him and he may be trying to guard his feelings or whatever is left of them.
How to handle this situation?
Cool down. Arguments and anger can get the worst out of the person. To say that ‘You see the true colors of a person when they are angry’ is so wrong. We are not one-dimensional people. People have several colors to them. People have both good and bad to them, and no one is a pure angel. It is definitely wrong for one to believe that a person has to be a calm soothing soul. People have their demons which does not mean that they shouldn’t be loved. If your man is ready to talk about ‘how you hurt his and how he hurt your feelings’, then you guys can build a stronger relationship out of an argument.
However, if your man doesn’t make any move to correct his mistakes or to talk to you, or refuses to solve your issues then you may have a problem.
Remember, Communication and understanding are how you can tackle any problem in your relationship.
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