Last Updated on October 13, 2022 by Team CrazyJackz
Experiencing butterflies in the stomach.
Eyes can’t get over that first sight.
Still, feeling the first touch vibes?
Longing for the same person again and again
Like love is flowing in veins.
Love!! Wait a minute, What if it is limerence? ‘Limerence’, have you heard this term? Well, you definitely heard the word “Obsession”, right? Limerence is a kind of obsession with a person, that can last till your life, unless you recognise it. It is feeling madly in love with someone and making them your whole world without a second thought. A crazy romantic attraction that makes you stuck with them.
Limerence and love are two different things. Dorthy Tannov was the first person who coined the term ‘Limerence’ and drew a separation line between them. Limerence resembles love a lot when you squint hard enough. You can stare all you want, but limerence and love are not the same thing. The main distinction between the two is that limerence primarily focuses on pursuing and lusting after someone, whereas love necessitates a genuine, meaningful connection with another person.
However, Limerence is a temporary feeling that will end after a certain time. So, how do you know when the limerence is coming to an end? What are the various signs Limerence is ending? But, before discussing fading signs of limerence, you need to confirm that you are actually in limerence with someone.
Take a pause, evaluate your feelings, and check whether you are experiencing these signs.
- Thinking of the subject, unconsciously the whole day – In the limerence, you might find yourself constantly thinking about a particular person. Thoughts are playing on the loop, like a forever repeated button. Everything looks as a live telecast – their smile, shining eyes, their voice.
- Trying to change yourself – In limerence you might find yourself acting like them. Many times, you seem to suppress your real self and try to change yourself according to their likes and dislikes. You’ll start making changes in your habits (without noticing) as you wish to seek their attention or be perfect within their standards.
- Excess emotional dependence – A small change in their behavior affects you too much. There is constant anxiety or uneasiness in settling down. You are afraid of their absence. Your mood might be controlled by their reaction toward you. This kind of emotional dependence clearly signals limerence.
- Ignoring red flags – If you are limerent, you will intentionally ignore every flaw in your subject and assume them as perfect. People around may try to warn you about the person, but you are blindly attached to him or her.
- Far distant from reality – Living in dreams? Is your mind writing a fictional love story and keeping you lost in it? By hook and crook, you try hard to make it real if you are in limerence.
So, revisit your lifestyle and note the signs you are going through and if you find the same as mentioned above, then it is confirmed to the web of limerence.
9 Signs Limerence is Ending:
In general, signs that limerence is coming to an end include the limerent partner spending fewer hours with the limerent object, and returning to their regular schedules and priorities.
Here are some other activities that people engage in as they near the end phases of limerence.
- Looking Sad
Sadness is one of the withdrawal effects associated with an ending limerence. When you’re with the person you’re in limerence with, you get butterflies in your stomach, and nothing else seems to matter.
Thus, you will naturally feel overwhelmed with sadness and disappointment when that place of comfort and tranquility is ultimately taken away from you, or you learn that the person is not who you thought they were.
The unfortunate thing is that your expectations have been raised as a result of the pleasure you experienced during that limerence affair. You want to experience the same levels of excitement and pleasure that you did while having the obsession, but you are unable to do so now that the limerence has come to an end.
- Putting in less action
Recall that when someone is experiencing limerence, they will go to great lengths to win over their partner. The fact that he/she stops going above and beyond is, therefore, a reliable sign that limerence has ended.
- Open for red flags
When you’re experiencing limerence, people only pay attention to the details that support the impressions they have of you. And they don’t consider that person’s flaws. Once you step out of the cage of limerence, you might start evaluating the second party in a realistic way. Like, how is he/she treating you? Is he/she Respecting you or not?
Even if you find the limerence mutual, you’ll now start accepting the flaws and embracing the goodness with the most real version. On the split side, if it is a one-sided limerence, you will be ready to face the reality that he or she is not interested in you, while you will stop promoting their wrong actions if they are just using you.
- No more uneasiness
When your limerence is fading, you’ll start experiencing stability in thoughts. You’ll no longer have mood swings. Their presence or absence makes no difference to you. Thoughts are not occupied with their images, and you have many things to think over now.
- Welcome back to the present
When in limerence, you’ll go above and beyond to impress the person you’re with, even if it means giving up your present usual activities. But when the limerence is ending, you’ll no longer do this.
Yes, in limerence, one lives in an unrealistic scenario and plans future life with the person to whom they are romantically attracted. At its ending, you feel more in the present, enjoying what life throws at you.
- Emotional roaster
As the same as the beginning of limerence, its ending is also an emotional roller coaster. Where the hell am I going for that person? The feeling of disappointment, despair, hopelessness, and guilt seems to wander in the mind when the limerence is fading.
When you are experiencing limerence, you are having the time of your life, and feelings of elation and happiness are permeating your being. Thus, the person experiencing a fading limerence may experience a collapse in their emotional state when the experience is over, as all these feelings vanish.
- Less interest
Less Interest is one of the major signs of limerence ending. Earlier, the interest you have for that person, and for their activities was very high, but now it becomes less. Early on, you don’t even think of ignoring them, but now you want to simply call off their activities and do whatever you are doing.
- Focusing on yourself
When going through a limerence, you’ll think about that person all the time. Thus, the limerence have likely expired if you start acknowledging your presence more, for example, by talking about yourself, preparing meals for yourself and the kids, or spending more time alone.
Yes, when the feeling of limerence is ending, you will get more reasons to focus on yourself. You will start the process of building yourself from scratch by chasing your goals and dreams. Indeed, as the Limerence is ending, you go through the channel of self-discovery.
- Therapy Success signs
Sometimes limerence leads to a very high effect on your daily routine. However, when you start taking therapy, you will slowly get to know when the limerence is close to ending.
Your daily therapy sessions lead you to understand things and make your life easy. Thus being able to trace the stages of Limerence, and getting a gut feeling that your therapy is working, is a subconscious sign that your limerence feelings are fading.
How do you know when the Limerence is Ending? 3 Stages to Fading Limerence
Limerence can last up to 3 months to 3 years on average, in some cases, it may stay longer if a person finds it very normal. But one day or another, you will come out of the trap of limerence. Before Limerence comes to an end, it takes you across certain phases.
“Heart beating fast, winds are blowing.” “Mine is only mine and you are mine.” “Standing on cloud nine.” “With him, everything seems to blur except him.“
If you are believing in this, then you might be in the first stage of limerence, known as infatuation. Here you find yourself falling for another person with an instant and strong magnetic connection with him or her. It is full of fantasy and makes you believe in fairy tales. You assume that person as your prince charming or dream girl.
Gradually the feelings go to a peak and your world seems to be confined to your subject. You might feel insecure with fear of losing them, which grows you as a possessive partner. Entering this stage brings lots of harsh realizations, and the fog of everything perfect, slowly fades. It is known as Crystallisation. Lots of mixed feelings, confusion, and questions will arise in you at this stage.
After being a prisoner of these negative thoughts, finally you’ll gather the courage to face the reality and accept whatever comes in, either heartbreak or a cheerful mutual relationship with all flaws and green flags. Then it means you are at the stage of Deterioration. This is when you are heading toward the road of healing and letting go of all feelings you hold for another person, as if they were one-sided.
When you start accepting the rejection and stop chasing a person as they are not reciprocating the same efforts in the bond, here limerence gradually walks to the button end line. Ending limerence is not easy as it seems. It is a phase of struggle and self-discovery where you redeem your real self, which you have lost in the state of limerence.
Limerence is a state of delusion where everything seems perfect with another person. Not only in singlehood, sometimes it occurs in married people as a result of an affair. It would be better to identify the state of limerence and slow down, especially when you are committed to someone.
Remember, Limerence is an iceberg that starts melting gradually as you start coming into the real world from your imaginative one. The fog of flawlessness will wash away, and you will finally realize that life is not a fairy tale.
- Heyoka and Narcissist: When a Heyoka Empath Meets a Narcissist - October 18, 2022
- 7 Reasons Why A Capricorn Man Disappears After Intimacy (and What You Can Do About It!) - October 18, 2022
- What Is Platonic Polyamory? Everything to know about Platonic Poly Relationship - October 18, 2022