Last Updated on February 15, 2022 by Team CrazyJackz
People with avoidant attachment are afraid of “rejection,” because they believe that anything they do, or something you could find, would cause you to stop loving them.
Regardless, they prefer to restrict their time with people: they need to return to being alone for extended periods of time since it seems “safe” to them. However, If someone with an avoidant attachment truly loves you, they will not require that break. They’ll open up and let you see all of them because the fear of doing so will eventually be outweighed by how badly they want you in.
But, How do you tell if an avoidant loves you? What are the signs an avoidant loves you? How do they show love?
In this article, we will discuss some of the common characteristics of an avoidant and the five definitive sigs that shows an avoidant is in love with you.
Love Avoidant: Characteristics of an Avoidant in Love
- Love avoidants create intensity in activities (typically addictions) outside of the relationship to avoid intensity within the connection.
- Love Avoidants avoid becoming known in relationships to shield oneself from engulfment and control by the other person.
- In general, Love Addicts are attracted to people with these characteristics. The major trait identifying all of the qualities of the “model” partner for a Love addict is avoidance, which appears ridiculous to their lovers given how forcefully Love Avoidants come on to their partners at initially.
- Love Avoidants avoid personal touch with their lovers through a number of means, including “distancing tactics.”
- Love Avoidants intentionally (and significantly) dread intimacy because they feel it will deplete, envelop, and dominate them.
- True abandonment is a basic characteristic of Love Avoidants’ interactions with others. Love Avoidants do not reveal their true selves with their children. They live their lives behind protective emotional barriers, and, like invisible puppeteers, they constantly strive to exert influence over the decisions of others with whom they want contact.
- They gain a sense of empowerment from rescuing and being cherished by the vulnerable and dependent Love Addict.
The Five Ultimate Signs An Avoidant Loves you:
Sign 1: Avoidant will Let you know His/Her Major Wound
The avoidant attachment style is characterised by a great protectiveness of one’s freedom, and anytime someone threatens that independence, the avoidant attachment style views that person as a threat and gradually begins to eliminate them.
However, there is a fundamental misconception that most individuals have when it comes to the avoidant attachment style, and that is a failure to recognise the primary wound that caused them to be this way.
Consider the core wound to be the final trigger that starts off their avoidant behavior.
This core wound arises for a psychological cause that may be traced back to their infancy. Frequently, their main caregiver would offer basic requirements such as food and shelter but not the emotional support that a kid requires. As a result, they’ve discovered that the only way to deal with emotional closeness is to deal with it alone.
Now, if a person with an avoidant attachment style truly loves you, he/she will slowly let you know their wounds. They will directly or indirectly reveal to you and make you understand their past wounds, with an expectation that you would be the only person to understand.
So, if you are slowly coming to know an avoidant attached person’s past wounds, then it is a clear sign that the avoidant has decided to love you.
Sign 2: They Are Not Getting Upset With The Major Tipping Points
Avoidant attachment types are most triggered during critical turning points in partnerships.
Take note of how each of these turning moments is centred on a new level of intimacy. When an avoidant is completely in love with you, we’ve discovered that those tipping thresholds don’t upset them as much.
They still annoy them, but not as much as before.
So, if an avoidant is not getting upset with each passing milestone in your relationship, then it is a clear cut sign that he/she loves you.
Sign 3: Getting Allowed To Get Emotionally Intimate
This is, without a doubt, the strongest sign on the list.
We’ve already established that an avoidant person’s underlying hurt is a sensation of being lost in the relationship. They often withdraw and withdraw inwardly as a result of their loss of independence.
Of course, it will look to you that they have their barriers up. This can include them suddenly appearing as if their head is somewhere else in real life.
However, if you and your avoidant partner are slowly getting emotionally intimate and attached to each other, then it can be considered a major sign that the avoidant loves you. So it stands to reason that you mean a lot to them if you discover them going against their fundamental wound by becoming vulnerable.
Sign 4: Give them the space they need and see the Avoidant’s reaction
When an avoidant raises their walls, the worst thing you can do is declare a war and try to tear them down. Unfortunately, this is how the majority of individuals, who are often worried, deal with the problem.
Most people are problem solvers, and they don’t appreciate it when someone they care about completely ignores them, as if they’re unimportant.
But what they’re really saying is that they need space, and you should give it to them. The way individuals react when you give them space will reveal a lot about their attitude.
So if your avoidant pulls away, instead of going hard on them just give them some more space. You’re simply practising tactical empathy when you say “when they pull back, you pull back.” Now just see how the avoidant reacts.
By understanding their need for space and providing it, you are gradually assisting them in tearing down the barriers they have erected. Soon, the avoidant breaks down his/her walls and thus will automatically and subconsciously start revealing their love for you. Yes, the way the avoidant reacts/acts, (once you gave them the space they need), will now reveal a lot more about the avoidant’s developing interest for you.
Sign 5: Being interested even after knowing everything about you
Many avoidants lose interest after they believe they have learnt everything there is to know about you as a person.
We know that avoidants are prone to picturing this unrealistic relationship in their heads. Thus when there are no more layers to add. When there is no longer any mystery, they frequently abandon the relationship.
Now, what if an avoidant doesn’t leave you, even after knowing everything about you. What if the avoidant is still interested in you, although he/she totally knows you as a person? Then it can be a strong sign of the avoidant’s love for you.
In fact, this is when the avoidant feels that you are an individual with boundless hidden depths, and thus is in love with you no matter how much he/she knows you. Ofcourse what is more appealing to an avoidant than the person they can’t have? Thus continue being the individual with boundless hidden depths.
Technically, this sign is about “preserving love” rather than “understanding love.” About devoting your time to things you care about just as much as the avoidant you’ve fallen for in order to gain more “mystery credibility.”
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