Last Updated on August 31, 2022 by Team CrazyJackz
Marriages are believed to be made in heaven. But at least for some, these knots tied in heaven drag many into an unbearable hell. I meant a negative or toxic husband who makes you feel bad about yourself.
It can be tough to cope with a toxic husband who constantly makes you feel worthless. Various types of behaviors such as over-criticism, whining and complaining about anything and everything you do, pessimism, etc trigger a negative relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself. Dealing with these can be challenging at times.
Believing to be in a happy relationship but ending up sad and depressed is the first sign of an unhappy marriage. The toxic negativity of your husband starts taking a toll on your personal and, eventually, professional life. There could be certain times when you realize that you are the one striving to make your relationship work. But it is what exactly your partner wants. It is what fuels his negativity.
The article will help you understand some of the reasons why your partner is exhibiting negative behavior. And some ways to deal with it.
So, why does your husband make you feel bad about yourself? What to do if he is making you feel worthless constantly? How to deal with it? Let us see..
Why does my husband make me feel bad about myself? Why he makes me feel worthless?
There could be many underlying reasons for your partner’s negative behavior. It could be either intentional or unintentional.
Invalidation is psychological abuse when people do something intentionally or repeatedly to invalidate or minimize someone’s feelings. It can be a painful experience for all of us, especially if we are sensitive people. Having your feelings diminished or ignored can make you feel like you have been rejected or minimized.
So, why is your husband invalidating your thoughts/feelings and making you feel bad about yourself? Why does he want to make you feel worthless? Well, one of the most common reasons why your husband is constantly making you feel bad about yourself is to simply gain control over the relationship. Yes, his insecurity could be the underlying reason for this negative behavior.
Sometimes questioning your husband’s behavior or trying to break away from his established behavior patterns can create feelings of insecurity and a need for control. Thus in the need for control, some people’s signature move is – using criticism. If they feel insecure and feel a loss of control in the relationship, they will often use their toxic criticism and negativity to return the relationship to a state of acceptable behavior.
It usually involves chuckling at you, putting you down, belittling your achievements, questioning your thoughts/opinions, judging you constantly, making insults about your weaknesses, etc
My Husband makes me feel bad about myself: What to do?
Being accepted and known is a part of being in a relationship. However, relying on others to validate who you are is not always possible. When we do this, we compromise and allow others to determine who we are.
Thus when you experience negativity from your husband, don’t try to talk about it with him. Instead, focus on the positive and carry on with your life.
So, if your husband is making you feel bad, a few specific ways to deal with him are:
1. Try not to respond to any negative comments and behavior.
Your husband might make you feel bad about yourself, and he wants to get a response from you so he can enjoy that moment. If you don’t give him this opportunity, he might leave you alone or move on.
So just try to indulge yourself in something that makes you feel happy. Do not try to impress the toxic partner. One thing is for sure. He will never be satisfied and appreciate your efforts whenever you try. Instead, find time for yourself and be happy about yourself. Neglect the negativity that is surrounding you. Let your negative husband keep doing his toxic talks, and you keep reinventing your positivity.
2. Refrain yourself from getting into an argument when he makes you feel worthless.
It’s important to avoid arguments with your husband as he can make you feel bad about yourself. If he does, it’s essential to stay away from him. You could have noticed already that he will never agree to anything you say or do. It is always better not to try to convince him otherwise. All your attempts will be like trying to fill an upside-down pot. He will never listen to you as his only aim is to show that you are inferior and he has the controls. And his way of gaining it is through negative comments and expressions.
When the tension builds up, walk away and keep busy until it resolves. Then, come back and smile as soon as possible to make the atmosphere more pleasant for both of you.
3. Be a pro at switching topics and try to bring positivity to the situation.
If he makes you feel bad about yourself, try talking about something different. It will help you feel better and make the atmosphere more pleasant. It could be a difficult task. But it is worth an attempt.
4. Try to develop good communication between you and your husband.
It would be best if you didn’t blame your husband for what has happened to you. Instead, tell him that you love him and are unsure what is wrong. Also, try to be positive and say that you are not sure what is wrong. Be careful not to bring out topics that could trigger the toxic negative man in him.
The negative person loves being appreciated and praised. Be a proactive wife and try adding some extra butter to his negative ego. Praise him for anything he does, be it the stupidest thing in this universe. Your praise will make him feel you appreciate him, which might change his attitude towards you.
5. Bid farewell and move on with your life.
If you can’t talk to your partner, then leave. Also, if it’s going on for a long time and he still doesn’t want to stop making you feel worthless, then life can be harrowing for both of you. In such a scenario try to set yourself free from the relationship. You can then find a new apartment or home where you can be alone without being subjected to constant criticism.
Break yourself free from the toxic relationship and start afresh. You deserve a better life, and no one can make you feel bad in any form.
What are the other techniques to deal with a husband who makes you feel bad about yourself?
Despite being independent and strong, people can easily get carried away by the idea that if they could do less and manage their relationship better, it would be easier to get along. The cold truth is that if things were going to be different, they would already be. Although toxic negative people can change, it is doubtful they will ever be able to change. There is no hope of them ever being able to do so, as nothing anyone else can do to make them better. The carnage will continue to explain as your fault.
Your husband will never be positive and won’t appreciate you no matter how much you try. Instead of trying to change him, focus on yourself and ignore the negativity around you. You can also let your husband keep repeating his toxic talk while you can try to reinvent yourself.
To help cope with an opposing spouse, I would like to share something that may seem complicated to accept or believe. In reality, the point is that no one can make one feel bad about themselves. For instance, if someone tells you that you are not great and not good at anything, don’t simply believe their views as truth. Rather consider them as a bad influence. The point is you should not give anyone the keys to your happiness.
Thus your husband who criticizes you and finds fault in everything you do, shouldn’t be considered a good influence either. So, it’s essential to avoid his acts that make you feel bad about yourself, as believing them to be true can make you feel worthless. Also, never try to convince your husband that you are better than him. He will never listen to you; he only wants to show that he has the power and that you are inferior. He uses negative expressions and comments to get the point across.
When the tension in the relationship is building, walk away and try to keep moving. Doing so will help you feel better and put a positive spin on the situation. You can also try these simple steps to cope with such a situation. These include: Being able to practice empathy, setting boundaries, and engaging in self-care.
The Takeaway:
It’s easy to get pessimistic about your husband’s attitude (which makes you feel bad about yourself), and it can be hard to let it affect you. Instead of letting it get to you, try to forgive him and move on. Set boundaries, and make it clear that you will not tolerate what your partner says or does. Make these boundaries clear, and be willing to enforce them if they are violated. You should also treat yourself kindly and get enough rest and care. A positive relationship is also essential to maintaining a healthy and happy environment.
While you may have a negative relationship with your partner, you can still build strong relationships with other people to bring positivity into your life.
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