What to do if My Husband Does Nothing for Me and I Do Everything For Him?

Last Updated on November 29, 2021 by Team CrazyJackz

There are times when you sacrifice your work and give up your resting time to help your husband, but when it comes to you – maybe you want him to bring you food, or maybe you simply want him to zip up your dress, but you find him lazy or reluctant enough to do it. And then, no matter how much workload you have the thing that bothers you the most is ‘I do everything for my husband and he does nothing for me. Why?’. This is one of the common complaints married women have. In fact, almost every woman goes through this phase.

The very first thing you should know is not to react instantly. And do not come to hard conclusions on your own. But do not just leave it the way it is.

If you’re in one such relationship that makes you feel this way, know that you’re not in one healthy relationship. Husbands have a variety of irritating characteristics, ranging from the innocuous such as refusing to follow directives to the serious such as being snarky and dismissive.

You grow into thinking that maybe you did something to raise such behavior of his. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. Keep reading and you will have all your answers.

“Why does my Husband do Nothing for me, even though i do everything for Him?” – 4 Real Reasons

I do everything for my husband and he does nothing for me.

Of course, you keep wondering why is this happening. You may keep thinking as to ‘why my husband expects me to do everything?’

Honestly, sometimes, it has nothing to do with you and it’s all about him. It is really hard to understand what a man’s inner intentions are when they react in such a reluctant way with you. Here’s what might be happening –

1. They think they do nothing wrong

You will realize that your husband doesn’t even understand that you’re upset. This is mostly because they think they are doing nothing wrong. The urge to be perfect can often lead to a never-wrong personality.

If your husband is a perfectionist, he may find it difficult to confess that he is mistaken because doing so would imply admitting flaws, which would imply that he isn’t flawless. This can be inexplicable for someone whose entire self-esteem is built on how immaculate they are.

2. They think you’re doing it because it’s your responsibility –

There are still men with patriarchal notions like it’s a woman’s responsibility to serve their husband and they take it as an excuse to become a man child and thus depend on you for every small thing.

They will want you to be there for you on their every call but when it’s their turn, the sofa and bed become their best friend. They think it’s fine to not feel responsible towards you the way you do. It’s high time for them to realize that a couple – both husband and wife needs to be equally responsible towards each other. There’s nothing wrong if they are expecting you to fulfil their lazy wishes but they must do the same for you.

3. Some men think they are superior to all –

Again, another patriarchal sentiment – men thinking that they’re the head of the family and no one comes before them. Not just wives, but brothers, sisters, every family member suffers from such behavior of a man. Everyone listens to them because they are supposed to.

These men do not understand that women do most of it out of love and its love that makes us women feel responsible for our men. If we do not get the same love and intention, it’s a matter of time that we start getting detached.

4. Your husband has a low self-esteem –

A man with poor self-esteem may develop the never-wrong personality feature as well. He is afraid of being perceived as weak or imperfect if he admits to making a mistake.

He thinks that he is not good enough and when you keep up with his mistakes and keep doing things for them out of love, even when they are continuously taking you for granted, they feel better about themselves. This is just one of the ways how a narcissistic man lives.

What to do when your Husband does Nothing for you, even though you do everything for Him? – How To Make Him Supportive?

husband expects me to do everything

We women do not give up easily on the person we are in love with. If we are strong enough to take their craps, we know how to throw some too. Don’t we? Not stopping without trying it all is one of our natural natures. It’s not like these men don’t love their wives, they are just stuck with themselves and need a push. Here’s what you should try before totally giving up.

Confront him and tell him how you feel

As I mentioned above, there are men who think they do nothing wrong, and many times women feel it’s not right to tell them that they are not being the man they are supposed to be.

Ladies, you need to come up and confront your man. Let him know what you think they are doing wrong, remind him of his responsibilities. Do not forget that communication is the key. Tell your man how you feel and how his being irresponsible is a problem.

Make them realise your importance

If you think that just talking is not helping, there’s one more thing you can do. Try to make them feel the way you do. Act with them the way they do with you. Don’t be there for him every time they want you to. This might do the trick.

Once they realize how much they need you and how much your absence is affecting them, maybe they will also understand how you feel and how irresponsible they are being when they do the same with you. Make sure you do not do this more than it’s needed. Lack of effort from both sides may do harm as well.

Be the example

Although it is necessary to make your husband realise your importance, it may not be a good idea everytime. Do not grow into thinking that if he doesn’t care enough to be there for me, I should do the same. Don’t stop being you and being the person, you want them to be.

Maybe he needs a bit more push. Talk to them, try to understand their point of view and why they are doing it. Have a fight, have the hard conversation. Prove to him what emotional support looks like. Show him how to love even when it’s difficult.

Your husband will most likely learn more about you via how you show support than through how you convey your wants. It’s not going to happen overnight, and it’s unlikely to alter in a week or even a month.

However, you have the option of deciding how important your vows are to you. If you sincerely meant it for better or worse, lead by example, pray frequently and allow for improvement.

Riya Mishra