What Is My Husband Thinking During Separation?

Last Updated on July 19, 2022 by Team CrazyJackz

Separation can be a tough time for everybody despite their gender. It often is more painful and horrible for those who did not initiate it or are still in love and got left by the other one. No one in their darkest dreams had thought of getting separated from the love of their lives. Things don’t stay the same as it was, in the beginning, all unicorns and fairy tales.

Things change and eventually, one starts losing interest or believes they need mental peace and don’t want to be in this relationship. Everyone tries to guard their relationship at any cost but separation seems a better option sometimes when struggling daily with the same relationship issues exhaust you.

However, during separation, one question keeps popping up in your mind.. “What is he thinking?”

So, what is your husband thinking during separation? How does he feel during the separation? What are his thoughts and emotions while you are separated in your marriage? Let us see..

What is your Husband thinking during Separation? 5 Stages of thoughts your Husband goes through while Separation

If you are going through this separation phase then I know exactly what your condition is and how desperately you want to know what’s going inside your husband’s head. Here I am to help you out in this situation.

In general, women tend to break down completely after separation at the beginning and with time get hold of their lives and start getting better, whereas men are completely different and care less about separation or divorce at the beginning and take it very well, but with time start feeling devastated and broke. This is just a general condition and doesn’t apply to all, of course, there are exceptions and we will talk about how men feel during separation.

Usually, men go through five phases after or during a separation such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Let’s talk about them one by one.


At first, he will not be able to accept the fact that you guys are going through a separation. It will be hard for him to believe you have grown so far as to get a separation.

He will drool over past memories and try to convince himself that everything is okay and you will get along again no matter what. He might even try to convince you to get back together and if you are the one who ended this then you definitely will not agree with him and this eventually will give rise to the second phase which is anger.


Anger is the most destructive emotion a human being has. We often make decisions or say something which we don’t mean and harm ourselves and others while angry. Similarly, your husband might feel angry about the fact that he is losing control and nothing is in his hands anymore.

Blaming you, explosive arguments, and even abusive behavior can be seen in this phase. They are not their usual selves at this time and need to act patiently but they won’t. You will have to help him get through this. Tell him to be patient and act patiently. Most men use anger to mask their pain so, try to understand the pain behind their anger and help them pass this phase.


Not economical or physical bargaining but emotional bargaining like promising “I’ll change myself for the sake of this relationship”. If he mean what he says then you should consider his plea but if he is saying this just to save the relationship then you better not get trapped in his sugar-coated words.


Depression in men is natural after separation because he is not acquainted with the daily household chores. It is hard for him to adjust to the house without a family.

Coping with day-to-day routines can become very hard, let alone trying to plan for the future. This is the darkest period, where hope or future appears lost. Help him get help from an expert and get over this.


The final stage is acceptance. To finally accept the fact that being separated is the best for both him and your relationship and there is nothing he can do to save it.

Accepting can be overwhelming but also calming at the same time. The faster he makes peace with this the better for both of you.

How does your Husband feel during Separation? What are his Thoughts and Emotions?

Men report a range of intense experiences during the separation. This could include feelings like – Frustration, powerlessness, anger, thinking the same thoughts over and over again and overthinking, desperation, or feeling ready to drop down the earth, loneliness, sadness, shock, bewilderment, and hurt. So these are some of the general feelings men experience during separation and most probably your husband is feeling the same.

No matter how bad it ends, you need to support him at this high time. You both need to help each other either solve this or get over this. If he is the one who initiated this separation then chances are he is feeling relieved and good right now but it is not easy for him as well. He too had feelings for you once and he too is suffering with you. It is a general human tendency to understand the actual value of things after losing them and that’s the case with him too.

Separation is not easy and not the solution as well but if the relationship doesn’t seem to work out, you probably should separate. But don’t take any decision spontaneously, take your time to discuss terms and take it smoothly. Take your time away from your husband and decide what exactly you want to do.

All his Emotions are allowed:

Remember, you and your husband are going to feel a variety of emotions throughout your wedding separation, and that’s fully natural. Your husband may be questioning himself – on what’s next for him.

Also don’t be shocked if you discover your husband going from relief to anger to worry to unhappiness to jealousy, typically on a similar day. Let him take his time. Be light and take it slow.

Riya Mishra