Last Updated on October 19, 2022 by Team CrazyJackz
Relationships are the most beautiful gift from God. You think that you have found the right one in this lifetime, And very later when the honeymoon phase is over, you find it to be a great disappointment. The drift occurs when one expects too much or one when never cares.
Often, such dynamics are seen between a Heyoka Empath and a Narcissist. Specifically in the American context, Heyoka Empath is a word that comes from the Sioux indigenous tribe and means sacred jester. They are unique when compared to normal empaths.
Heyoka empath Traits Vs Narcissist Traits
Characteristics of Heyoka Empath
- Great listeners
- Sarcastic and uses humor for healing
- Provide compassionate and Unconditional love
- Dependent and emotionally attached to people who they love
- Daydreamers, Highly spiritual
- Sensitive and passionate
- Help others and Healing
- Easily vulnerable
Characteristics of Narcissists
- Focused only on their pleasure
- Think about themselves most of the time
- Need based love, Manipulative
- Independent but need validation and attention seeking
- Logic and Practicality
- Strong ambition
- Choose empaths whom they can manipulate
What happens when a Heyoka empath meets a Narcissist?
Initially, when the universe conspires the meeting of a Heyoka empath and a narcissist, the sense of humour between the two will be enchanting. The Heyokas are humorous and narcissists enjoy it and sometimes get triggered by them too.
The initial phase will be a fairy tale before knowing each other completely. They both share many similarities, from high self-esteem to having the talent of amusing the crowd with their wit. Both have the capacity to influence others through their words and actions. Also, both seem to be extremely wise people by nature.
Self esteem and self respect will be their priority. When someone says a negative or triggering fact about them even if it is true, they can never agree to it, rather they will have hatred and anger. In fact, Heyokas blame or get angry at themselves, even for others actions.
How can you recognize a Narcissist and a Heyoka empath in a relationship?
Remember, the intention of the narcissist will always be self-centered. On the other side, Heyokas feel self in others. You’ll be able to differentiate them by their actions and how they make you feel. Generally, an empath can sense your feeling, and a narcissist emphasises on how they feel for a given situation.
Many times, the narcissist will be able to disguise as a good empath. However, in a relationship the narcissist first pulls off from it, when they feel heightened and bored of being into it.
Heyoka and Narcissist: Why is there such a strong attraction between them?
Connecting with a heyoka can be an emotional experience. You may leave feeling angry or leave feeling an incredible sense of love. As an emotional mirror, whenever a Heyoka senses an emotional reaction in you, they use it as a guide of what to reflect back to you that will help you most on your journey.
Thus the Heyoka, being an empath at the core, hopes to be truly seen and loved by the narcissist. In fact, their sense of worth is tied to being loved by their narcissistic partner. Empaths believe that, if they can overcome the challenge of getting the narcissist to love them, then their worth will be validated. In other words, if they can make the person who is incapable of love, love them, then they are truly worthy of love.
Thus they try to heal the wounded narcissist, hoping that once healed, they in turn will provide the heyoka empath with the love and validation they so desperately desire.
While Heyoka works hard for harmony, whereas narcissists are looking to do the opposite. They enjoy chaos, and like to know they can pull people’s strings.
Narcissists manipulate Heyoka by stringing them along with intermittent hope. They will integrate compliments and kindness into their behaviour, making their victim believe that if they behave in the correct manner, they will get the loving person back who they once knew.
Thus, the push and pull nature of the narcissistic relationship can generate a trauma bond between the heyoka empath and the narcissist. This strong bond will hook the heyoka & narcissist together, where it can feel almost impossible to leave the relationship, for both of them.
Heyoka empath’s Humour and Sarcasm Vs Narcissist’s Rage and Sensitivity to Criticism
So, now comes the biggest question.. Does the Heyoka empath’s humour and sarcasm trigger a narcissist outburst? Or Does the Heyoka empath silence the narcissist and put them in their place?
Actually, both scenarios tend to happen in their relationship and likely occur in a pattern. There is no fixed circumstance, as sometimes the heyoka’s humour triggers a narcissist in a good way as well as in the opposite way, as it tends to depend on their mood as well.
Narcissists have wavering moods when compared to the other. The heyokas sense the narcissists very much, as they are always emotionally attached with their partners. Thus, they at times sense narcissist’s energies and be cautious of it, but not all times.
The narcissist always tries to control and manipulate the Heyoka empath. However, at times the Heyoka knows what has to be told to the narcissist to make them realise their mistake, but it won’t be a permanent solution in most cases. Also, the Heyoka sometimes silences the narcissist by showing them where they went wrong.
Yin and Yang, The Runner and Chaser phenomenon between Heyoka and Narcissist:
If there was one type of person that a Heyoka empath would struggle to connect with, it’s a narcissist. Heyoka empaths and narcissists are essentially polar opposites. One naturally moves to heal others. One naturally only ever cares about themselves. These differences naturally cause tension and a lack of understanding between one another.
When a Heyoka does their healing and decides to move on, the narcissist decides to turn towards them. This dynamic makes the narcissist feel invalidated without the empath’s presence. Both like to be around each other. They long for each other, in their absence. However, this is not all the time, as Heyokas often get angry at narcissists and couldn’t tolerate them due to their lack of emotional intimacy.
When both in love:
When a Heyoka attracts a Narcissist into their life as a love interest, the initial bubble phase lasts a few months. At the beginning, they only see the good qualities, and believe the relationship will make them look good. This doesn’t last because narcissists are full of contempt, and they see most people as below them.
Once the heyoka pinpoints the narcissist’s mistakes and change of behaviour, the narcissist pulls off from the relationship. They start to run away from the partner in the quest of new people as they get bored over specific period of time.
The complete relationship dynamics between a Heyoka empath and a Narcissist:
These two characteristics of individuals can be well compared to Tom and Jerry, where they often fight, hurt each other but can never live without each other.
To achieve union, both have to go on their own self path, release all negative baggage of life before uniting in the name of love, accepting each other unconditionally. Moreover, when the Divine decides the union of two individuals irrespective of characteristics, it always happens in its timing.
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